Wednesday, August 10, 2011

added "content"

Quite a long time ago, I got a "please buy my books" letter in the mail at work.  I nearly simply chucked it out like I usually do, but it was so terrible I took a closer look.  Each "paragraph" was extremely short-- the whole page averaged 1.5 sentences per paragraph, and each sentence was about 10 words or fewer.  Half the length of some of the sentences was made up of the long book titles. 
With identifying information removed, here is the little gem that appeared in my box:

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Dr. [first name last name].  I am a family physician in [town], IN.  I have published five novels.

Four of the novels are fiction, Christian romance.  One is a diet book.

[3 word title] and [2 word title] were published by Author House.  I used a pen name, [first name initial last name].

[2 word title] was published by Publish America also under the pen name [first name initial last name].

[10 word title] is a diet book also published by Publish America under my name, [first name initial last name], M.D.

Lastly, [3 word title] was published by Publish America under my name [first name initial last name].

I would be honored if your library could carry these novels.

You can find them on Amazon, Publish America and Author House websites.  I also have copies for sale for $20 each.

Please let me know if you would be willing to offer my books to your readers.

The best way to contact me is by email: [email.address]
My home phone is [phone number]
Cell: [phone number]
Work: [phone number]

Thank you for your time and God Bless your day,

[signature], M.D.

The average sentence length counting the longer titles gives only an average of 11.07; counting the titles as one word (my "fierce" average) is 8.71 words per sentence.  Seriously, people, if you can't write a postcard length advertisement, I have serious doubts as to your book-writing abilities.

1 comment:

Ted Viveiros said...

Very interesting observation and I agree completely. It does amaze me sometimes how we ever got out of the stone age.